Guten tag!
"There's a whole world out there."
In anticipation of a long plane ride, I wanted to reflect upon the mostly drab experience of the few days before a trip abroad.*
All week before, I came to work each day with fervor, getting things done that needed to get done… before. Thursday, I had completed the tasks and started to post this blog. The title alluded to a list of some kind. It eludes me at the moment. It wasn't meant to delude anyone.
Making lists is a fun way organize things. You could organize pros and cons, people, careers, autos, government offices, disaster areas, catastrophic events, hobbies, carpet samples, paper stocks, airlines, car rental companies, hotels, cities in Austr… Oh yeah!
A list
fashionable clothing
MP3 player
books
shoes
boots
passport
camera
journal
binoculars
money
attitude
German dictionary
Okay, I got sick of the list. I'm still writing though. I am drinking a "revive" vitaminwater for some reason; thirsty I guess. See? Drab. Maybe something will happen tomorrow (Friday).
Still not Friday yet. It is gonna be quiet in this office next week. I will certainly not miss it.
This has become a waiting tactic for me; A time-waster with a cruel intent and a rewarding but just-out-of-reach conclusion. Time can be a cruel som-bitch.
It's quiet in here now. I'm waiting!! Wow, nothing.
I got a lot done this past month. The frustration wasn't as bad as it could have been. I didn't really clench teeth at all. A few "bad" days had me on-edge but mild comparatively. I am learning a lot these days and hope it pays off. I still need to go to AAA and call the bank. It is good to have the weekend to get ready. Diet and rest are the focus.
pills
toiletries
sunglasses
opinions
writing implements
gum
snacks
no drinks
map
a sense of wonder
Sick of it again. I'm going to get up and walk around a bit. Okay, I officially want OUT-OF-HERE!!! It's in the 60s outside. I should get some exercise.
I am now eating a Peppermint Patty and a mini Reese's cup. Yeah, I know, still dull.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Ode to Deitribe
I once saw a man with freak lips eating phillip morris gundertons with a spork. He ate them in alternating ascending and descending order with an ascertion of meager magnitude. 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 4... You get the idea.
I wonder how it feels to be freak lipped with OCD of this sort. Many would laugh and stare at the lips as if they had pomposity enough to make and publish alternate theories of relative risk taking. I almost vomited when they saluted a venereal beggar. What was he doing there? He was not as odious as I recalled but secreted an attraction that I had to wash my hands of before urinating. A reiteration of the most recent pandemic representing the various peccary illnesses. A gluttonous, communicable disease without attrition, making humanity a laughable suggestion, a bag of miserable, mildly sentient meat.
There is no hope and Deitribe is not here to help. The secret is out. PIG!
I wonder how it feels to be freak lipped with OCD of this sort. Many would laugh and stare at the lips as if they had pomposity enough to make and publish alternate theories of relative risk taking. I almost vomited when they saluted a venereal beggar. What was he doing there? He was not as odious as I recalled but secreted an attraction that I had to wash my hands of before urinating. A reiteration of the most recent pandemic representing the various peccary illnesses. A gluttonous, communicable disease without attrition, making humanity a laughable suggestion, a bag of miserable, mildly sentient meat.
There is no hope and Deitribe is not here to help. The secret is out. PIG!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
work, illness and other distractions
Wow, it has been a while. I don't seem to like writing as much as I used to.
Being sick with Crohn's Disease for almost 4 years now has really changed my life.
I have been on medication everyday since the diagnosis, including Humera, Remicade, Methotrexate, Mesalamine, Prednisone, Flagyl, Levaquin, Ciprofloxacin, 6MP, a Pravastatin drug trial, many, many different types of supplements, and lots of Tylenol. I have stopped taking all the immune suppresive medications, as none of them seemed to work very well. I am now on a 2.5 month antibiotic regimen and am feeling much better. I am able to work more regularly and have been able to do more things in the evenings and on weekends.
Work is going well. I am happy to have a job in this economy.
Angela and I are looking at homes this summer and hope to be in something by Fall 2009. There are some good deals out there but a lot of trash too.
I wish I had something more interesting to write about.
Update: 12/10/2019
With varied symptoms from possible remission to hospitalization for perianal abscess, I have decided to take Stelara and have been on it since June 2019. I had an approx. 500 mg infusion at a clinic in August and 90 mg injections every 8 weeks since. Effects have not been 100%, approx 2 weeks before each of the 8 week injections symptoms return but it seems to work well for the first 6. Over the past ten years I have experienced a 3 year "well" state of health using antibiotics (flagyl and cipro) as needed. I still prefer Flagyl to clear-up issues. I have discovered a bit of a reaction to Vancomicin and prefer to steer clear of it. I have only been hospitalized a few times, have tried probiotics, prebiotics, ginger, digestive enzymes, etc., all with varied effectiveness. The most prevalent issues are intestinal cramping and rectal/anal focused inflamation resulting often with perianal abscess. A warm compress helps to soothe and drain the area but the issue can quickly elevate to sepsis.
Angela and I are in the home in Maryland we purchased in 2010.
This seems important to write about now.
Being sick with Crohn's Disease for almost 4 years now has really changed my life.
I have been on medication everyday since the diagnosis, including Humera, Remicade, Methotrexate, Mesalamine, Prednisone, Flagyl, Levaquin, Ciprofloxacin, 6MP, a Pravastatin drug trial, many, many different types of supplements, and lots of Tylenol. I have stopped taking all the immune suppresive medications, as none of them seemed to work very well. I am now on a 2.5 month antibiotic regimen and am feeling much better. I am able to work more regularly and have been able to do more things in the evenings and on weekends.
Work is going well. I am happy to have a job in this economy.
Angela and I are looking at homes this summer and hope to be in something by Fall 2009. There are some good deals out there but a lot of trash too.
I wish I had something more interesting to write about.
Update: 12/10/2019
With varied symptoms from possible remission to hospitalization for perianal abscess, I have decided to take Stelara and have been on it since June 2019. I had an approx. 500 mg infusion at a clinic in August and 90 mg injections every 8 weeks since. Effects have not been 100%, approx 2 weeks before each of the 8 week injections symptoms return but it seems to work well for the first 6. Over the past ten years I have experienced a 3 year "well" state of health using antibiotics (flagyl and cipro) as needed. I still prefer Flagyl to clear-up issues. I have discovered a bit of a reaction to Vancomicin and prefer to steer clear of it. I have only been hospitalized a few times, have tried probiotics, prebiotics, ginger, digestive enzymes, etc., all with varied effectiveness. The most prevalent issues are intestinal cramping and rectal/anal focused inflamation resulting often with perianal abscess. A warm compress helps to soothe and drain the area but the issue can quickly elevate to sepsis.
Angela and I are in the home in Maryland we purchased in 2010.
This seems important to write about now.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
artomatic
Hello,
Artomatic was a big success again this year.
Having already finished (May 9 thru June 15, 2008), artomatic will be back next year (i suppose). Check for updates.
http://www.artomatic.org/
The art that I saw was very impressive. In addition, there was much entertainment and affordable refreshments were available. The 10 floors used included lounge areas, bars, stages, dance and film theaters, classrooms, a store, and a tattoo parlor. A very entertaining happy hour could be had Wed. thru Fri. evening with no cover charge (although a donation is appreciated).
The artwork I displayed showed some of the artwork I have created in the past decade, both commercial and personal. Portraits dominate the illustration work I have done since graduating from VCU in 1997. I have drawn portraits of John Lennon, Jimmy Carter, Menachem Begin, Albert Einstein, Niels Bohr, and Marie Curie, among others, in pencil and ink for LA Associates and AAPT. Illustrations of Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain represent the fatal effects of drugs and rock and roll. A couple of surreal paintings come out of the mattikai subconscience through written word and stream of consciousness manifestation with Ardie Tyoke and Bi-Polar. At this point I round it off with a particularly nice watercolor-like cow skull and female nude.
I urge you to attend next years event, or participate if you are so inclined. It is an experience beyond that of any art gallery. It is a place to hang out with friends, learn a thing or two about art, get your drink on, get involved, get down, get crazy and have fun. Don't miss it.
See ya there!!
mattikai
Artomatic was a big success again this year.
Having already finished (May 9 thru June 15, 2008), artomatic will be back next year (i suppose). Check for updates.
http://www.artomatic.org/
The art that I saw was very impressive. In addition, there was much entertainment and affordable refreshments were available. The 10 floors used included lounge areas, bars, stages, dance and film theaters, classrooms, a store, and a tattoo parlor. A very entertaining happy hour could be had Wed. thru Fri. evening with no cover charge (although a donation is appreciated).
The artwork I displayed showed some of the artwork I have created in the past decade, both commercial and personal. Portraits dominate the illustration work I have done since graduating from VCU in 1997. I have drawn portraits of John Lennon, Jimmy Carter, Menachem Begin, Albert Einstein, Niels Bohr, and Marie Curie, among others, in pencil and ink for LA Associates and AAPT. Illustrations of Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain represent the fatal effects of drugs and rock and roll. A couple of surreal paintings come out of the mattikai subconscience through written word and stream of consciousness manifestation with Ardie Tyoke and Bi-Polar. At this point I round it off with a particularly nice watercolor-like cow skull and female nude.
I urge you to attend next years event, or participate if you are so inclined. It is an experience beyond that of any art gallery. It is a place to hang out with friends, learn a thing or two about art, get your drink on, get involved, get down, get crazy and have fun. Don't miss it.
See ya there!!
mattikai
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Physicallity
There is very little about physics that I could tell you that is not already pretty commonly known, but during the past year I have been creative for AAPT (American Association for Physics Teachers) and have acquired a new lease on life regarding the physical world.
The result of my exposure to popular news items, or academic topicalities and even a few major player physicists, is an invigorated curiosity. It is, however a curiosity that I do not share with enough of the general population. Physics is the science of everything and it is mostly feared as a science of the weird, nerdy, AP student "genius", that is unattainable to the masses. High school students very often are required to take biology and/or chemistry to complete their studies and physics remains an AP second thought at best with elitist pompousness written all over it. Physics First is a curriculum that has students learn physics before chemistry and biology. Students learn about the scientific process and explore real-world phenomena such as photosynthesis and gravity before going on to the often physics dependent chemistry and earth sciences. This reform of the existing science curriculum could help to shed the stigma of the physics student and cause physics to be less intimidating.
As I have found, physics can often be a complex science filled with things from the macro to the micro scale, comparisons of space and time, quantum mechanics, nanotechnologies and with subjects continuing quite literally to infinity. But, basic physics fundamentals are typically easy to teach and learn and prove to be beneficial to the learning of the other sciences.
I wish I had been exposed to physics first in high school. I feigned an enjoyment of earth science and biology and then barely made it through chemistry preparing me for a science free college experience. I settled on art and even though it has been a somewhat rewarding career, I now regret my lack of science education. As I proceed to educate myself with Stephen Hawking, Einstein made simple books and wikipedia posts I still remain intimidated by the ever present equations and computations that accompany any and all significant physics literature. I guess that calculus class proved to be for naught. Just another obstacle on the way to achieving greater knowledge, a goal I wish the rest of us could grab a hold of. Maybe our desire for spirtuality, fame, fortune or NASCAR bellies is too difficult an obstacle for us to tackle in a lifetime.
So, "physics first" before it simply remains physics last.
The result of my exposure to popular news items, or academic topicalities and even a few major player physicists, is an invigorated curiosity. It is, however a curiosity that I do not share with enough of the general population. Physics is the science of everything and it is mostly feared as a science of the weird, nerdy, AP student "genius", that is unattainable to the masses. High school students very often are required to take biology and/or chemistry to complete their studies and physics remains an AP second thought at best with elitist pompousness written all over it. Physics First is a curriculum that has students learn physics before chemistry and biology. Students learn about the scientific process and explore real-world phenomena such as photosynthesis and gravity before going on to the often physics dependent chemistry and earth sciences. This reform of the existing science curriculum could help to shed the stigma of the physics student and cause physics to be less intimidating.
As I have found, physics can often be a complex science filled with things from the macro to the micro scale, comparisons of space and time, quantum mechanics, nanotechnologies and with subjects continuing quite literally to infinity. But, basic physics fundamentals are typically easy to teach and learn and prove to be beneficial to the learning of the other sciences.
I wish I had been exposed to physics first in high school. I feigned an enjoyment of earth science and biology and then barely made it through chemistry preparing me for a science free college experience. I settled on art and even though it has been a somewhat rewarding career, I now regret my lack of science education. As I proceed to educate myself with Stephen Hawking, Einstein made simple books and wikipedia posts I still remain intimidated by the ever present equations and computations that accompany any and all significant physics literature. I guess that calculus class proved to be for naught. Just another obstacle on the way to achieving greater knowledge, a goal I wish the rest of us could grab a hold of. Maybe our desire for spirtuality, fame, fortune or NASCAR bellies is too difficult an obstacle for us to tackle in a lifetime.
So, "physics first" before it simply remains physics last.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Why The War Don't Scare Me
Things happen.
Things happen all the time.
Things happen as a result of anger, fear, hatred, love, concern, grief, stupidity, wisdom, knowledge, nature and I think the list goes on.
By things, I mean mostly horrible things. A VA Tech rampage, a 9/11, a Pearl Harbor. Shockingly horrible things happen all the time for many different reasons. In fact they seem to space themselves out nicely as if to remind us every so often that they do happen. Every approximately 5-50 years another shockingly horrible thing happens. The more severe, the more time in between. As a result of a real lack of research and my being a stereotypical American I am going to use only American examples. 50+ years between Pearl Harbor and 9/11 (I think you will see the similarity). 35-45 years between the Vietman War and the Iraqi (middle eastern)Wars. 5-10 years between Columbine and VA Tech. 1-2 years between the Indian Ocean Tsunami (okay not really American) and hurricane Katrina. A few hours to a day or so between car bombings, suicidal or otherwise (again not really American).
I offer no solution or place blame, I just want to point out that these things happen and will continue to happen out of no fault of our own.
The most obvious example is the natural disasters. The Tsunami and Katrina are most out of our control and give us a good starting point for proving my point. The Tsunami is quite out-of-our-control as we cannot assume to solve the problem of plate tectonics. Hurricane strength is recently said to be as a result of the global warming trend, however I think we will find that even though human responsibility for this is evident, nature is more in control than we assume.
The human element enters mostly in the event of war. The recent history of the United States, almost a century's worth, lays claim to about 10 wars at varying degrees, about 1 every 10 years. Causes for these wars have ranged from idealistically and politically charged to devistatingly instigated. Yet they are always govermentally or nationally and idealistically executed. The individual has no real choice or effect. Individuals are merely tools used to either support or oppose wars like varying degrees of moisture surrounding a hurricane. Opposing spiritual or political ideals are a natural albeit human occurence. Whether it is a nationalisitically charged holocaust or a capitalistic "freedom" campaign or an islamic jihad, it is out-of-our-control. Whether we correct them or take the path of moral rectitude is merely a result.
Columbine and VA Tech represent the very human element. This element is where the individual becomes most involved. As the motivation turns to mental stability vs. societal implications, two seemingly controllable aspects, the solution remains society's control over the individual. Again, another lost cause for what happens as a result of anger, fear, hatred, love, concern, grief, stupidity, wisdom, knowledge, nature, etc... We are just as out-of-control of what happens inside as we are of what happens globally. And by out-of-control, I don't mean that we should give up and not try to fight global warming or not offer therapy to a tortured soul. I just mean that these things are going to happen whether or not we make laws controlling guns or drugs or strengthen our levies or boost our warning level status.
So, fear not! The odds of an individual being directly effected by things-that-happen is in direct relation to the proximity of that individual to those things. If you are a soldier in Iraq you might want to be on your guard. If you work in a building that houses information about global economic trade you might want to be very familiar with the fire exit strategy. And now, yes, if you live on a college campus you might want to carry a gun or at least be friendly to the weird guy.
I feel lucky, however, because the war don't scare me. I live in one of the safest countries in the world. A country in which a very small percentage of people die as a result of horrible-things-that-happen compared to the rest of the world. And even though I am not sure why that is, I feel lucky.
Things happen all the time.
Things happen as a result of anger, fear, hatred, love, concern, grief, stupidity, wisdom, knowledge, nature and I think the list goes on.
By things, I mean mostly horrible things. A VA Tech rampage, a 9/11, a Pearl Harbor. Shockingly horrible things happen all the time for many different reasons. In fact they seem to space themselves out nicely as if to remind us every so often that they do happen. Every approximately 5-50 years another shockingly horrible thing happens. The more severe, the more time in between. As a result of a real lack of research and my being a stereotypical American I am going to use only American examples. 50+ years between Pearl Harbor and 9/11 (I think you will see the similarity). 35-45 years between the Vietman War and the Iraqi (middle eastern)Wars. 5-10 years between Columbine and VA Tech. 1-2 years between the Indian Ocean Tsunami (okay not really American) and hurricane Katrina. A few hours to a day or so between car bombings, suicidal or otherwise (again not really American).
I offer no solution or place blame, I just want to point out that these things happen and will continue to happen out of no fault of our own.
The most obvious example is the natural disasters. The Tsunami and Katrina are most out of our control and give us a good starting point for proving my point. The Tsunami is quite out-of-our-control as we cannot assume to solve the problem of plate tectonics. Hurricane strength is recently said to be as a result of the global warming trend, however I think we will find that even though human responsibility for this is evident, nature is more in control than we assume.
The human element enters mostly in the event of war. The recent history of the United States, almost a century's worth, lays claim to about 10 wars at varying degrees, about 1 every 10 years. Causes for these wars have ranged from idealistically and politically charged to devistatingly instigated. Yet they are always govermentally or nationally and idealistically executed. The individual has no real choice or effect. Individuals are merely tools used to either support or oppose wars like varying degrees of moisture surrounding a hurricane. Opposing spiritual or political ideals are a natural albeit human occurence. Whether it is a nationalisitically charged holocaust or a capitalistic "freedom" campaign or an islamic jihad, it is out-of-our-control. Whether we correct them or take the path of moral rectitude is merely a result.
Columbine and VA Tech represent the very human element. This element is where the individual becomes most involved. As the motivation turns to mental stability vs. societal implications, two seemingly controllable aspects, the solution remains society's control over the individual. Again, another lost cause for what happens as a result of anger, fear, hatred, love, concern, grief, stupidity, wisdom, knowledge, nature, etc... We are just as out-of-control of what happens inside as we are of what happens globally. And by out-of-control, I don't mean that we should give up and not try to fight global warming or not offer therapy to a tortured soul. I just mean that these things are going to happen whether or not we make laws controlling guns or drugs or strengthen our levies or boost our warning level status.
So, fear not! The odds of an individual being directly effected by things-that-happen is in direct relation to the proximity of that individual to those things. If you are a soldier in Iraq you might want to be on your guard. If you work in a building that houses information about global economic trade you might want to be very familiar with the fire exit strategy. And now, yes, if you live on a college campus you might want to carry a gun or at least be friendly to the weird guy.
I feel lucky, however, because the war don't scare me. I live in one of the safest countries in the world. A country in which a very small percentage of people die as a result of horrible-things-that-happen compared to the rest of the world. And even though I am not sure why that is, I feel lucky.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
If I wasn't such a misanthrope
What is it that I should like about you?
That is a question that should be posed by religious leaders worldwide. With all of the horrible things that we are hearing about religious fanatics, authorities, martyrs, extremists, etc... I am thinking maybe the masses are to blame more than the guilty partys just mentioned. We are the ones who are in need of the religions. We are the ones sinning and causing the world to be chaotic and disordered. We are the ones who are insecure and in need of atonement.
Religious leaders want to like us but it is very hard for them unless we do exactly what they say. But we can't all be perfect. Most of us cannot find the time to attend church services every Sunday. We can't compromise our decision to support freedom of choice. We don't want to kill "heathens" or become martyrs in the name of god. But I think a majority of us are well intentioned and that deserves a little respect.
What is it that I should like about you?
We all have a little something that can be said about us that would carry us through the apocalypse with only minor scrapes and burns but would spare us the eternity of suffering. Maybe we support the occassional charity or volunteer at a local food bank. We might visit the elderly or stop for potential roadkill. Or maybe we just smile a lot or share the remote control. We could chew with our mouths closed or compliment the chef on a particularly well cooked peice of steak. We could even refrain from the inhumane treatment of others or try to avoid being the harbinger of a mass genocide. Or we might not enjoy exploiting young children or sending young adults off to fight unjust wars as a general rule. I think these things merit a certain wink and nod from up above, if only just for the courage to deny our filthy human urges.
So, what is it that they should like about us?
Apparently they don't really care because they love to tell us what they dislike about the world without a definite or rational solution. And, we know what we dislike about them, as they keep on reminding us on an almost daily basis.
If I wasn't such a misanthrope I would come to a helpful conclusion here. But alas, I just wanted to verbalize my hatred or mistrust of humankind.
That is what us misanthropes do.
That is a question that should be posed by religious leaders worldwide. With all of the horrible things that we are hearing about religious fanatics, authorities, martyrs, extremists, etc... I am thinking maybe the masses are to blame more than the guilty partys just mentioned. We are the ones who are in need of the religions. We are the ones sinning and causing the world to be chaotic and disordered. We are the ones who are insecure and in need of atonement.
Religious leaders want to like us but it is very hard for them unless we do exactly what they say. But we can't all be perfect. Most of us cannot find the time to attend church services every Sunday. We can't compromise our decision to support freedom of choice. We don't want to kill "heathens" or become martyrs in the name of god. But I think a majority of us are well intentioned and that deserves a little respect.
What is it that I should like about you?
We all have a little something that can be said about us that would carry us through the apocalypse with only minor scrapes and burns but would spare us the eternity of suffering. Maybe we support the occassional charity or volunteer at a local food bank. We might visit the elderly or stop for potential roadkill. Or maybe we just smile a lot or share the remote control. We could chew with our mouths closed or compliment the chef on a particularly well cooked peice of steak. We could even refrain from the inhumane treatment of others or try to avoid being the harbinger of a mass genocide. Or we might not enjoy exploiting young children or sending young adults off to fight unjust wars as a general rule. I think these things merit a certain wink and nod from up above, if only just for the courage to deny our filthy human urges.
So, what is it that they should like about us?
Apparently they don't really care because they love to tell us what they dislike about the world without a definite or rational solution. And, we know what we dislike about them, as they keep on reminding us on an almost daily basis.
If I wasn't such a misanthrope I would come to a helpful conclusion here. But alas, I just wanted to verbalize my hatred or mistrust of humankind.
That is what us misanthropes do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
