I need to float a blog

Here is a posting that I plan to have resemble poop.
(I would have said s**t but it is a terrible word that some people don't want to hear, or... I guess see here.)
I used to write short stories that were mostly stream-of-conciousness inspired, just for fun. Some came out good. Others were totally incoherent. I want to take another stab at it now.

Mixed-up Condiments Stew (not a recipe)
by Matt Payne

"Made in Mangenese" the label read. I thought mangenese was an element not a place. The object attached to the label was less interesting than the label itself. It was pulled out of an oversized hat box that originally held an unusually large hat. Before we could analyze it completely a small child came into the room eating a multicolored icecream cone.
"hey kid!" Carl exclaimed, desiring the colored treat. "gimme that cone or i'm gonna go buy my own!" "Nien!" the kid shouted. "Oh, are you from the land down under?" I asked. "No, stupid, i'm Swiss. Can't you tell?" "Wait, the Swiss aren't from Austria." I pondered.
I wanted to see if the kid knew where Mangenese was and I wanted to ask him many questions involving cool treats and elusive elemental properties, but I had very little time to spare. I didn't need to know these things but it drove me crazy not to at least try to find out.
Before we put the object away and forgot about the mysterious label, the kid ran up and grabbed it out of our hands and ran from the room. I looked at Carl and smiled before I bolted from the room after the ballsy Australian child. "he's not gonna burgle my-whatever it is-with the label." I thought angrily. I didn't know why I felt so attached to the thing at this point. It was all but unidentifiable still and we were just coming to the conclusion that it was some sort of stuffed doll, which would have been perfect for the feisty foreign kid as a gift I suppose. Except that he rudely decided to snatch it from our probing hands.
"Halt, kleine kinder!" I yelled, thinking it would make me sound more Swedish, so the kid would understand.
"Nein, nein!!" the kid yelled, giggling a little.
"Bring back our... thingy... kid! It's our... thinga-ma-bobbie... you!"
We sprinted full speed down the hallway and around the corner. The Aussie brat exploded through the emergency exit as the alarm sounded. As I approached the exit I stopped and stood in the doorway observing an enormous empty parking lot stretching as far as the eye could see. The kid nowhere in sight.
"What?..." i questioned.
"...in the hell." i finished.
"Surreal," i concluded.
I closed the door, which didn't kill the alarm like I thought it would.
"Carl!!!" i yelled.
"Yo!" i heard faintly.
"Kid gotta way."
"Who?"
"Kid, you know, wunderkind, sticky fingers McGee, sneaky Swiss mister, uberbrat... the freak with the snowcone. You know!!?!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Uberbrat?"
"Yeah, he ran out the emergency door out into the huge parking lot. Then I lost him."
"What the heck are you talking about? Help me with this unusually large hat box."
I helped.
"Was there a kid... ?" I stopped, feeling a little uneasy.
"What's in the box?" I asked.
"Hat." Carl said looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
"Big hat I suppose."
"Yep."
"For a big head."
"Don't flatter me."
What are we talking about? I thought.
The alarm slowly faded and Carl was uneffected by its call and subsequent decline. As if he didn't hear it at all.
"i'm waiting for a call from the main office and then we can head out. You hungry?" Carl inquired.
"I could go for a vegemite sandwich with swiss cheese. Any good asian delis around here?"
"They got a Euro Meat Corp take out place that carries Australian sausage. Will that do?"
"i heard a rumor that place was run by cannibals."
"You're the one that wanted to eat that kid's icecream."
"Nuh, uh; you said that."
"Huh?"

To be continued?
probably not.